Over the past couple of months I have really been trying to
focus on the miracles that have happened in my life, especially the miracles
that have happened over the last three plus years. As I have been studying and pondering about miracles my whole concept of them has changed. Like most people I always thought of a
miracle as being healed without any explanation or avoiding danger because of a
prompting. While both of these things
are miracles, I learned something else that constitutes a miracle.
In the October 2017 LDS General Conference, Elder Donald L.
Hallstrom of the Seventy, gave a talk titled “Has the Day of Miracles Ceased?” In his talk he said this about miracles, “defining
a miracle as “a beneficial event
brought about through divine power that mortals do not understand” gives an
expanded perspective into matters more eternal in nature. This definition also allows us to contemplate
the vital role of faith in the receipt of a miracle.” When I heard Elder Hallstrom say this, I knew
Heavenly Father was talking to me. As I have
continued to go back and study this talk I have felt an assuring witness that
everything I have experienced in the last three plus years is indeed a miracle
and that Heavenly Father is very aware of me and that He keeps His promises.
When I started having problems back in May 2015, I was given
a priesthood blessing by my dad and brother.
My family had also held a special fast in my behalf that I would be
healed. I felt like my faith was so
strong and I knew that Heavenly Father would heal me and that I would be back
to normal. While things did improve to
an extent after our family fast and the priesthood blessing I received, I wasn’t
fully healed. As time went on and I continued
to struggle with really bad leg pain and eventually severe back pain I began to
wonder why I hadn’t been healed back in May.
I began to wonder why I hadn’t received the “miracle” I thought I
deserved and expected. The day before I
went in for surgery on my spinal cord, my dad and brother gave me a
blessing. In this blessing parts of the
blessing I had received back in May were referenced. After receiving this blessing I knew that
after this back surgery I would finally be healed from everything and that I
would be like I was before. The full healing
I had expected didn’t happen. My severe
back and leg pain did go away, but I was left with more complications I had to
work through. Losing the ability to
walk, stand, and balance was not what I considered a miracle. Everything else that has happened to me since
then was not what I considered a miracle.
While I was able to see many miracles throughout this long journey I would
not say that everything I’ve been through was a miracle. At least I didn’t until I heard Elder
Hallstrom define a miracle as “a beneficial event brought about through divine
power that mortals do not understand.”
After hearing this explanation of a miracle I knew that
everything I had been through and everything I would continue to go through was
indeed a miracle. I know without a doubt
that everything I have experienced in the last three plus years was “a
beneficial event brought about through divine power.” I never understood why I had to experience
the things I did but I know that Heavenly Father knew I needed these
experiences to help me grow and get to the place where I am today. I am truly grateful for this miracle and for
everything that I have experienced and learned along the way. I now have a better understanding as to why I
needed to experience the things I did.
Had I not experienced them I don’t know if my faith would be as strong
as it is today, I wouldn’t have completely understood the healing that comes
from the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and I wouldn’t have met the people I needed
to meet along the way.
In the last two months since I have really started walking
again I have seen the healing I was promised in a priesthood blessing three
years ago finally happen. Walking is not
easy for me and probably never will be.
After my last foot surgery back in May, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had a lot of fears about what could happen
to my foot again, from blisters/sores that would put me back on crutches, to
looking really awkward when I walk. I
never fully expected to see the progress I have made and I know my progress is because
of a loving Heavenly Father who keeps His promises.
Walking can be
painful and I tend to limp and am not graceful because of the position my foot
is in and because I can’t feel anything it makes it even more awkward. I first started walking again with a
crutch. After a couple of weeks I was
finally able to get rid of it when I walked around my house but would still
have to use it when I was out in public, mainly to help with balance. My family went on a vacation to Yellowstone
back in August and during that trip my dad put me through some intense therapy,
which I hated. I used my knee scooter to
get around to most places in the park because I can’t walk long distances but
if any place had stairs my dad made me climb them. This was something I dreaded because I hated
stairs and I didn’t feel ready for them.
The first couple of places that had stairs I would hold on to the rail
with one hand and then my brother’s arm with the other hand. After getting used to the stairs I was able
to climb them without having to rely on my brother to help me. I hated that my dad made me do stairs and I complained
the entire time. But I soon realized
that I was getting stronger and that I could do stairs. By my dad putting me through this “therapy” I
got stronger and started to believe in myself and what I was capable of with my
Heavenly Father’s help. A week or two
after our vacation I was able to finally get rid of my crutch altogether. This was a huge miracle to me. I had already come to accept that I would
need that crutch every time I went out in public to help me balance. Not having to rely on the crutch has been a
huge blessing. Another huge miracle I have
seen in the last month is that I can walk (even though I look awkward) and be
in a crowd and for the most part keep my balance. When my doctor gave me the go ahead to start
walking again he wanted me to do physical therapy to help with my balance and
coordination. I’m stubborn and didn’t
want to do physical therapy so I pushed myself and prayed that I could make
improvements on my own without having to go to therapy. Heavenly Father blessed me with these things
and I know that it is because of Him that I have made the progress I have.
I know without a doubt that the day of miracles has not
ceased. There are miracles all around
us, we just have to open our eyes to see them.
The trials we go through are miracles even if we don’t look at them that
way. I am grateful for the miracles I have
seen and been blessed with in my life.
My journey with everything I have experienced the last few years may not
be completely over but I know that with the help of my Heavenly Father I can
get through anything and will continue to see miracles along the way.
